Three pieces of bread. Two of which are neatly topped with beef patties, lettuce, cheese, pickles,onions, ketchup, mustard, and of course “special” sauce. It is topped of with the final piece of bun. The beef patties are very greasy, the special sauce is spewing out, and the lettuce looks as if it should have been thrown out days ago.
It is in the shape of a cylinder, and it towers higher than any other burger.This thing is massive. It will barely fit in the hands of most, and very few can manage to take a bite of one. So why make it so big? In America today we tend to have this obsession with the saying bigger is always better.
This burger is a staple in our culture, but like most fast food its a partner of obesity. The Big Mac and obesity have two major things in common excessive amounts of fat topped off with health hazards.
Obesity is a disease. You have to recognize that, and I think that we as humans can not just over look this. We lose people to obesity related deaths every day. So why would we allow the root of this evilness to continue killing people?
I am not blaming obesity completely on the Big Mac, but rather using it as an example of the ridiculous portions of food we give out in the United States. I know I can not be the only person who has gone out to eat and gotten more food then they could finish. The obligation to finish seems to cover up the fact that you have reached your limit and that gluttony is OK.
The next time you are out ordering food think about how much you would eat if you were at home. Would you put a burger down the size of the Big Mac with fries and a Cola? With the right portions of food we can eliminate obesity. Changing your mind set to bigger in all cases is not always better, and wanting this disease to stop are some of the steps we must follow.
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I really liked your entry. It was a great intro and it kept me interested throughout the entire essay… good job!
Comment by chynnabond February 21, 2008 @ 2:01 pmI don’t think you should change anything cause it all looked good and flowed together perfectly…
~Chynna
I like your blog visually; its short and to the point. Just like a blog should be for me cause i have a lot to do on the net and i don’t want to read a dissertation.
The tone is fine and not disrespectful.
the description is very detailed, a good thing.
It hooks me because i want to know where this description leads to.
the organization flows right and I get the main point that people should watch how much they eat in terms of portions, not necessarily what they eat substance wise.
your word choice is varied and keeps me interested. and I didn’t see any grammar or spelling mistakes. good job!
Comment by jeremyadkins February 28, 2008 @ 2:50 pmI loved the way you introduced/hooked us up to your topic. Even though is the description of your item, I felt it a little bit sarcastic (in a good way) haha.
The lenght is appealing and inviting. The word choice and grammar are correct.
I really liked your blog and the flow of the paragraphs I even wanted to read more!
-odette
Comment by odettesalazar February 28, 2008 @ 7:54 pmYou didn’t have any visuals but that was okay because i knew what you were talking about in the first two or so sentences. You maintained a good font size/style and your paragraphs and entire entry was reader friendly and a reasonable size. Your voice sounded educated and articulate. You respected your readers. Also your voice was consistent throughout from paragraph to paragraph. You had a good initial hook. I was able to understand what your blog was about in the first paragraph. It made me interested in the topic and I was inclined to read more. No other paragraph would have fit as good as the current first one. Your organization was need and intelligent. it stuck to a good narrative and all paragraphs belonged. I understood your main points. Your transitions were on point as well. I was able to jump from one paragraph to another smoothly. Your word choice was well put. I saw some grammatical errors but these were almost nonexistent and they did not distract me at all. Overall this was a very good blog and very well written.
Comment by edithpatta February 28, 2008 @ 10:06 pmAt firt glance the blog seems to be very short and simple, there are no puctures. I think that a visual should be added somwhere, prefferably after the first paragraph. What if you had a pic of a big , nasty greasy burger that is just as disgusting as you described …. i think that would add alot to the blog … or if you had a huge obese greasy , hairy guy eating the burger it would show the effects of our diet.I don;t know why all the words are bold , why not bold things that you want to stand out and make the reader think about?I like how you connected the object with the topic. I like the way you show the big mac as an example and not the only reason for obesity and that you show how you have been guilty of over eating and that your not just placing blame.The ending paragraph is effective by questioning the reader and getting them to think.
Comment by ashleykinnebrew March 1, 2008 @ 6:57 pm